Monday, October 4, 2010

I'm not stressing so he will not!

The final exams are due next week.  Sage's 12 and this is an important year.  This will determine 'his future' in a good, reputable high school and in turn determine (that is if he studies) what he will major in the University and and secure a good job that pays well.

Apparently he is getting tired of hearing this.  He gets it from his grandpa, his teachers, his principal and our friendly shop vendors near home. They meant well.  It is true to some extent that having a good education can not only meet your basic needs, enhance your self esteem and the much needed roof over your head. And with extra income you can lead a slightly more lavish lifestyle.

But to a child these mean nothing, they cannot see how that could affect the rest of their lives. It's just too distant into the future.  It's similar to my earlier post about brushing their teeth.  No amount of evidence, can convince them that not brushing their teeth will affect their lives until they have friends laughing at them for having yellow teeth!  Or someone comes up to you and say 'Hey you stink' before you will be willing to clean more thoroughly during bath times. Perhaps then some action will be taken!!!

Or those packs of cigarettes with those horrendous images of cancer plagued lungs , yet  many would still continue to buy and smoke their lungs out.  WHY wouldn't anyone listen until it's too late! I can understand that teens might find it hard to give it up due to peer pressure then again they do not know any better ... blame it on adolescence.  

But stressing children at this age that their future will be ruined if they did not do well in their exams is simply uncalled for.  They are just 12!  Some are simply later bloomers, or have not yet found their forte.  But when they do find their passion, they will SHINE.

And does it mean that if they do well in these exams, they will do well in the later part of their lives?  Every stage of our lives, there are influences and some we as parents are not able to control.  Choice of friends, influence of mentors and teachers, technological influences (creating more distractions), falling in love ...
Any one of these could distract a well-balanced child with great aspirations to stray.

I did not dare to place too much emphasis on Sage at this young age.  But I wish for him to gather as much experiences as he could.  Be it in sports, public speaking, volunteer work, dabbling in culinary skills, improving in his social skills.  I believe a more rounded education will provide him a more steadfast foundation for his future.  

My wish for Sage is to enjoy and hopefully have more happy memories of his school days.  I pray that he will not look back and say it was the most unhappy and stressful times in his life, because there will be more of that as an adult.  

But the constant reminder that not doing well in the exams will ruin your future is simply too heavy a burden to place on a young child's shoulders. 

Let him rise at his pace and maturity.  Let him love life to enjoy life.
This is my wish for Sage.


  1. I agree 'let him rise at his pace and maturity. Let him love life to enjoy life'
    I wish the best to you and your young man
    Take care!

  2. The last two lines are beautiful and I echo and join you in wishing the same for our dear Sage and all children. Time and years will eventually teach him everything. But that does not mean we can relax! We also have to do our bit by encouraging, stimulating and guiding our children.

    I wish you a splendid week dear Gaia.

    Joy to you and all at home,

  3. Your last paragraph is the BEST ADVICE I've ever read. Trust yourself - and trust in your son.

  4. I think way too much pressure is put on 12 year old

  5. Blame it on the education system. The choice is ours .. Sure it is...
    Can we afford not to jump on the bandwagon, can we not afford not to join the education rat race ?

    It's a constant battle to push or let go.

    Can we face a situation of 'What if ....'

    I too would want my kids to have childhood memories worth having.

  6. Hi Hope thank you for your kind wishes.

    Hi Susan, yes we cannot relax.. Everything is moving so fast. There is so much to now, to learn, life is so competitive. Yet I need to find balance, and get back to the basics of living.

    Zuzu dear.. yes learning to trust, myself, my son and my Lord to see us through.

    Wanda, there is pressure so we try to release a little..You must try to relax and let go too.

    Hi Helen, true the children must strive, yet they need to find the balance. It's all about balance and joy. Least life has no meaning!

    Blessings to all!

  7. I'm agree with you, let our child rise at their pace and maturity.

    thanks for stopping by and give me a comment. I'm following you now.

    be blessed

  8. you said it all in the last two lines, let them get there at their own pace with your guidance

  9. In my opinion 12 to 18 is the toughest age period to go through in life. We can train children the way we want them to go but ultimately they will go their own way by the time they hit 18. And then, when they get married and have kids they'll realize how smart their parents were. :-)


Love to hear from you! Blessings always

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