Friday, November 29, 2013

Do you know Fear?

I guess there are many situations in life that could bring fear.

Fear of our lack of financial security, fear of falling sick and becoming a dependant and a  nuisance to others.
Fear of your loved ones not caring for you. Fear of being a nobody...

All  these seems insignificant till you watch  FEAR up front.

I was out for my morning exercise and when I got home, I saw smoke bellowing out from my neighbours window. I rushed upstairs cos my mum was still in the apartment. Unfortunately both of us were unable to get back down as the smoke at the stairwell was too thick. Wet towels were ineffective.

We decided to retreat to our apartment and stuff wet towels under the door to prevent smoke from getting in.  We waited it out till the firemen came to get us.

Tragically our neighbour passed on.

That day itself I was not afraid, I was clear and systematic knowing exactly what I needed to do ( just as instructed in those fire safety rule books)

But FEAR struck when I watched a playback of a video that captured that mornings events at my front door.  My mother was frantic running in and out of the home, not knowing what to do. She banged on our neighbours front door but no one came.  I was truly upset with my mum, why, why was she not making her way downstairs.  What if I was not home that day, what would she have done.   PANIC AND FEAR gripped me more when I watched the video.  The fear that what if I was not there to help her.  The fear that what if there was no one there to help her.  How helpless she looked ... how helpless I felt!

These emotions took flight. I could only imagine how those in horrific natural disasters face fear.

I can  really feel for them now.

Somehow I know I need to do something with this knowledge and emotion?



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