Friday, November 5, 2010

Stepping out into Stillness

It's a public holiday here today but I was at work this morning.  Trying to clear as much work in order that I may have a less harrowing BLUE MONDAY.  I missed lunch and left the office at 2pm. My tummy was calling out "Feed Me, Feed ME!"

But it was so eerie as I left the building. The usual busy street in front was empty and silent.  Not a soul ... not a car was stirring.  Perhaps it was a holiday thus not much traffic, but it was the significant quietness, a full 30sec of silence. It felt like nothing stirred not even the air. It looked picturesque.  Then I heard the roar of an engine and I was pacified. Phew! it was not a dream.

I called Sage to tell him to remember to bring his jacket and phone when he leaves for his movie with his pal.  My mum answered and informed me that he had already left.  I was surprised, as it was only 2pm. He told me earlier they would pick him up at 2.30pm.  My mum exclaimed that it was "2.30pm".  I looked at my watch, it showed 2pm... I looked at my mobile and it read 14.28.

Wow I guess my watch stopped ... time did stand still. I was not imagining it. :)

What was the significance of this whole event.  

Let's wind the clock back to an hour before I left the office.  I was sharing with my colleague a conversation I had with my dad.  It started with something trivial ... happenings in Sage's school.  Then my dad blurted "Life has no meaning!" My dad worries about almost everything, prepares for everything... has no social life and tells us not to trust anyone.  He goes to church every Sunday yet life has no meaning.  I was frustrated. Such a statement from a man in his 70's.  How do I teach my son to find meaning in life when his own grandpa is unable to. 

I mentioned to my colleague that perhaps my dad should try meditation. At that point, I was not sure why I said that... how would meditation help my dad find meaning?.  Frankly I did not connect any of the dots.  But I believed that meditation allows one to open a spiritual channel to GOD, and his words would be crystal clear.

And now this... the silence, time standing still.  Is God telling me that we should find him in the stillness? ... That we will be able to find meaning which had evaded my dad? 

How do you see meaning in your own life?  

I want to live well ( at least for the next 10 or 20years if I am lucky) and die well too.   I want to leave this world with no regrets.  I want to be blissfully happy.  

Still searching...


  1. I look forward to 'blissfully happy' too. After what I have experienced, it is attainable.
    These past couple of weeks have made me come to realise that.

    It depends on how we answer the question 'do you want more?', defined and measured against the backdrop of our own experience.

  2. That's my dream,"blissfully happy". There must have been some sort of thing with timing devices today. My alarm clock didn't go off. For me time stood still for about thirty minute as I overslept.

  3. I remember reading in a classic about watches stopping with the devil was present. Everytime a watch stops I get that eerie feeling and then I remind myself that only God is allowed in my home.

    I think old people sometimes forget much and look at the present with a somber outlook. they forget how meaningful their lives have been.

  4. I wonder why you dad is so unhappy? Would he see a therapist? Or talk to a friend? If only he could unburden himself of his depression...he could feel so much better. Teach your son to speak of his feelings! Share them with you; let him know that you will listen and love him no matter what!
    Hugs to you on this beautiful day!

  5. HI Gaia...for me...I find running in the woods alone....drinking in the sights and sounds and smells of nature energizes me in a way nothing else can. And it allows me to hear His gentle whisper in my spirit that always tells me everything will be okay....I feel sad for you dad...that going to church....knowing God...He sees no meaning.

  6. I have to say that I don't think that I SAW meaning in my life until I came to know Jesus as my Savior. Because before that, you sort of wonder why you are even here on this earth, you know?

    But after coming to know Him then it all made sense.

  7. Dearest Gaia,
    I think...
    sometimes we need a kind word or a smile or a helping hand and sometimes we can be the person to give those things to another. This act of giving back & forth is what gives my life meaning.
    My dad is 86 and yesterday when we spoke over the phone, he said he was fixing a chair for a neighbor. He was happy to be able to do it for her.
    There are so many people that could use a little help. Perhaps if your dad were to offer his time at the church, he would find his answer. I hope so.
    Loving hugs,

  8. Morning walks before the sun rises is a very peaceful time for me. This is a wonderful post. Thank you dear for sharing.

  9. I love those times when for 30 secs. you have found peace. meditation helps me with that.

    life has no meaning... even if we never find out the meaning we should still search for it. 'the pursuit of truth will set you free, even if you never catch up to it' he needs something or someone to spark that hope in him that we all tend to forget we have from time to time. I wish him well.

    i agree with Zuzu if we are not on this earth to ease each other's burdens and give a helping hand once in a while then, what are we here for?

    I wish the best for you and your family and that somehow your dad will find a meaning to his life.

    thank you for visiting me and leaving such kind words on my blog today.

  10. This is the second post I have read about meaning in life. I am way behind and catching up, but still... And I had a conversation about it over a week ago. In the conversation I said something about people needing hope to carry on. And the other person said that they needed meaning more than hope. That person went on to say that in the concentration camps in Germany people lost hope but carried on because they had meaning pushing them forward. I was still lost. That "meaning" could be anything from the need to know if a loved one was still alive in another camp to keeping a loved one alive in the camp they were in. People need meaning or purpose to carry on. I suppose that in the case of your father he needs to feel needed. He needs to have something to give his life meaning. I have no idea what that would be since it is different for everyone. Perhaps if he saw himself as being an instrumental role model in your son's life ~ a role no other person could fulfill ~ that would give him meaning. I hope that helps...

  11. Hiya all, thank you so much for your thoughts and comments. I have taken note of your suggestions, seriously I am looking into it and wondering how I can help my dad and myself too. I love my family too much for them to think that they had led a life of nothingness. Bless you all.

  12. Gaia,

    How do I find meaning in my life?

    By placing personal faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ alone for the salvation of my eternal soul. If you, your dad or anyone else will repent of you sins and trust in Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and savior you will know the meaning of life.

    The Bible says: The only way to find peace is through a person (Jesus). Not a church or anything else in the world can fill that void and emptiness in every persons life except Jesus.

    John 14:6
    Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

  13. popped back in Gaia to say hi. ☺

  14. Wow, Gaia. That really sounds like a God moment! I wonder if you're right...that God was saying to look for Him in the stillness. I have goosebumps!

  15. Gaia: Long time since you posted. How have you been and how is Sage? Hope all is well at your end.

    Joy always,

  16. Where are you? Been really long. Hope you are doing well :)

    Joy always,


Love to hear from you! Blessings always

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